The first day of a new blog, a new year, a new me! Ha-ha, had to get the cliché crap out of the way.

Hi, I am Peej. I am 29, married to Mower, have two great kids, LL and BB, and currently 250 lbs. I plan to change the last part over the course of the year 2006, and this will be my outlet for everything concerning me (well, almost everything: I will not appear naked….sorry. I know that can be lucrative, especially for fatties like me, but nope). My goal weight: 135. My goal clothing item: club clothes from when I was 20—a hot small vinyl black skirt, and a very skimpy dark blue vinyl top.

I am in a size 20W (the W stands for big fat ass Woman), and I get out of breath going up the stairs. I fear that my perfect children (get used to it—my kids are great and I may complain about them, but they really are the best things to happen to me, and I will exalt them until the cows come home) will learn destructive, harmful eating habits from me and my husband. I do not want to be the cause of their physical imperfections, since they were given to me so perfect. Anyway, I am losing the weight, removing the weight, in order to have a more fulfilling life. A balanced life. If there is such a thing.

On this blog, you will see updates as much as I can get them concerning my weight removal. No pills, no surgery, no tricks. Just exercise and eating better and healthily. This is going to be somewhat painful and honest. If you have a weak stomach, go eat a Twix and then come back.

Day one: January 1, 2006.

I, of course, leave the exercising to the last moment of the day, and didn’t eat anything healthy but a few bites of an apple. BB is teething his molars, so the apple is helping him. I ate a little to show, yes, Mommy does know what to do with it. I’m not as immune to them as I thought I had become.

This is me just moments before doing the smallest amount of a workout that I could do—about 15 mins. I have to get some damn sleep tonight, and after procrastinating (and eating some Snickers Christmas candy), I gave up to come up here and write about my first workout. Okay, mini-workout. Alright, alright, micro-mini workout. So short you could see it’s pubes.

Sorry, will have to insert photos when I learn how to!

The DVD I chose to inaugurate myself with was Pilates for Weightloss. This is one I have never done before. While it was great at being instructive without being overbearing, I found myself thinking not of how great it felt to be doing something for myself, but of writing down how it felt here. Weird. Anyway, my hips pop in the sockets, I can feel my pulse in the small of my back, and I don’t understand how tailbones became sit bones. The instructor told me to lift my body one vertebrae at a time, starting with my head and neck, until I was in sitting position. A friggin’ crane could not have helped my lift past the first third of my vertebrae and I’m giving me more credit than I deserve when I say first third. When your head and shoulders weigh more than you can pull up with your hands desperately clenching your legs and trying a ninth-grade lever system experiment with your body, it’s time to lose weight. What do I do: I stop after fifteen minutes and come tell my experience of QUITTING! Note to self, leaving the exercising to the last moment in the day (literally, it was 1:30 am when I started) is not a good idea. Eating a bunch of chili con queso and chips, then Snickers and a lot of Diet Dr. Pepper and Diet Sunkist is not conducive to fitting into the club outfit again. Do I expect to wear it? Yes. Out in public? No. But still, ix-nay on the fucking crappy ood-fay.

Goal for Monday, January 2, 2006: Get my workout in while BB is taking a nap. Either do Arms and Abs of Steel (don’t laugh—that shit hurts and works!) or the Pilates thing again. See if LL wants to do it with.