I brought only flip-flops and tennis shoes on the cruise with me, with a button down striped shirt and khakis from Wal-Mart for formal night. I wasn't going to get a new dress for formal night on the ship because I didn't want to spend the money, frankly, for a dress that I hope I would never fit into again. But through the whole trip, I was obsessed with how I would look. I went out in Key West and bought two pairs of heels to try on, to make the outift snazzier. This pair is the more comfortable of the two, although only women understand that for fashion, there is no such thing as comfortable. It's either excrutiating or merely painful.
I get the shoes on, and they are the only thing formal about my clothing. I didn't think the khakis would be so wrinkled and I had forgotten that the shirt was missing the lowest button. I have no bras that fit, so I wore a tank top undeneath. Nothing screams fancy Captain's formal dinner dress like a tank top from Old Navy.
I was miserable. I did my hair and make-up nice to distract from the casual outfit I wore. I still felt like a cow, a whale, a miserable excuse for a woman. It really has been the lowest point of me being a large person. I couldn't bring myself to go to the store and see how horrible I would look in an outfit or dress that would be a size above a 20, and so I went looking inappropriate and tacky. I know, I know, I paid for the cruise, I can dress however the heck I feel like. But I felt like looking like one of the pretty, thin, muscled girls, and I looked like I swallowed one of them and was on my way to seconds. Even my feet are fat.
My feet did not enjoy the shoes. LL looks better in the other pair than I do in either.
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