I ended up staying up after writing the last entry, cried a little, and then went downstairs to drown my sorrows in a heaping helping of American Idol on TiVo. I ended up vacuuming and steam cleaning the carpets at 1 am or so. The bedrooms upstairs both have air filters to block out noise, so I was able to get it done without disturbing anyone. I also cleaned up the kitchen and did the dishes. A little bit of cleanliness and marking something off my list helped immensely.

I had a very productive day yesterday, although I did need a nap in the afternoon to compensate for not sleeping the night before. I had a meeting with my business partners, and we have a bunch of things we are going to get done by Sunday, and make a decision on which way we should go in our business. I also came to the realization that I was a lot more productive when I was out of the house and around productive people, so I am going to start going to mini-seminars that are motivation-based and have previously yielded great results in my business, since I was actually working on it.

On another note, I completely was spacing the effects of my Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome and my wacky hormone levels (I once tested for almost three times the amount of testosterone as a woman should have, and almost no estrogen) might also have on this depression-like state. Since I did get up and do a bunch of things, maybe the down time was related to hormones, especially if I am PMS'ing? I don't know, and I don't wanna play doctor. I have been prescribed the Nuva Ring for contraception, which I haven't started using because it was the holidays and then the cruise, and I didn't want side effects interferring with them. But I should give that a try too, and see if I feel more stable when my body is in balance.

I am eating fat-free yogurt right now, instead of the donuts I craved on the way home from dropping Bubba off at daycare. Go, me! I also want to add that I have an amazing support system, friends that have just made my day and helped me so much by offering to be there for me no matter what. I am humbled by the love I get from them, and so honored that they have decided I'm worth the time. It's very cool, and I would totally do the same for them when I am in a position to do so. Thank you ladies!