I have some type of spyware on my pc, and it's running slower than shit from a constipated pregnant elephant in the dry season. I need to call someone and help me, because Norton Antivirus is coming up with the problems, but when I hit delete, it says "Delete failed". How about, "Delete failed" means no more business for you, assholes? Maybe their support page could respond to that. Nope, it's a useless webpage that does no good other than to cause the last nerve in your spine down by your butt to clench and spasm, and your hands to curl into fists that are just itching to be let loose, like Shannon Doherty on Paris Hilton. Yippee for me.

Good news though, is that after talking to a couple of friends, I am going to call my doc in the morning and ask about a different anti-depressant and a new birth control method, ones with less side effects. I will also ask about contradictions, so that if I grow green horns out of my head while taking both, I know it's the medicine and not a side effect of being a mom.

Also, we have decided on a breeder from whom to buy a Shih Tzu, and decided against getting two to breed. Too much hassle, too much expense, too much dog shit on my shoes from walking in the backyard. We may get two, but I am unsure. I do know that we don't need ones from a champion bloodline--why get a dog that knows it's parents lineage more than we know ours? So we will get whatever cute, low maintenance Little Floor Duster that comes from a litter being born this month, hopefully.

I have been getting a lot of things done for our business, which is great. I also have maids coming tomorrow to clean the sixth level of hell, GROUT. Not only grout, but WHITE GROUT. What the hell was I thinking when I brought that demon spawn into my home? After they clean it with Mr. Clean Magic Eraser (I swear, if Mr. Clean was a real guy, he'd totally be my motivation to self-pleasure, especially after seeing that yes, they really do get crayon off the wall. And black leather from a swivel recliner. And chocolate milk from the baseboards---oh God, yes, yes, YES!!!!!), we're going to seal it with a grout (hiss!) sealer to keep Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Orgasmic Cleanliness in and future puppy pee-pee and kid snot out.

Oh, the fun I get to have this weekend! Viruses, spyware, grout (hiss!), prescription happy pills.....I know how to have a great weekend!