Since the primary goal of this blog was to lose 120+lbs. this year, and I have lost approximately 0 lbs., I'm thinking I have not done a very good job of utilizing it. That's been my way of doing things though--long on planning, short on execution.

The things I am trying to figure out, and need to make a decision and stick to executing it, are as follows:

1) Which plan to follow to eat better? I have books on Body-for-Life, the Fat Flush Plan, the Biggest Loser plan, and lots of cookbooks for healthy eating. They all generally say the same thing. I am not going to get thin eating at McDonald's, nor is it going to happen overnight. Friends of mine are doing Weight Watchers, which seems to work for them.

2) Which plan to follow to look better? Again, Body-for-Life (work out almost every day and have your muscles burning fat for you, in addition to eating appropriately and charting your progress through 13 week intervals), the Fat Flush Plan (lowering your daily calorie intake, and doing some cardio, but if you are going to do heavy duty workouts, add a starch like peas or carrots to your strict diet of no-to-little carbs--I forget what the time frame is for each stage of taking away this or that), and the Biggest Loser Plan (heavy on exercise and eating the right portions, similar to Body-for-Life). I have a YMCA membership, which has a pool, a great gym, and lots of classes to do. The problem for me is, they all require me getting off my ass and doing them.

3) What supplements/pills to take? I am wanting to eat better and exercise to help fight depression, and don't really wanna take an anti-depressant. Despite my low times where I think taking something would help, I am still very against it. I researched St. John's Wort, and I have prenatal vitamins. I don't know if I should be taking B vitamins, an antidepressant, the St. John's Wort, nothing at all, alcohol...What is going to help, and what is going to be one of those things that causes me to have side effects, or gain weight, or doing too much and ruining my health that way?

4) Getting over the whole thing of wanting to lose 120+ lbs. I want to just focus on feeling better, but after one workout and seeing how much my fat gets in the way of doing crunches or walking at a fast pace, I get easily discouraged. I thought about just thinking of it in mathmatical equations, like this many calories plus this amount of exercise equals this much weight loss, but again, it requires me ignoring the voice in my head that wants carbs and wants to sit on the couch. That's a much bigger voice than the one of reality that says eat a salad and get off the couch.

This is a huge thing to undertake, and I feel that I am underprepared for the task. If I were talking to one of my friends, I would tell them to focus just on one thing at a time--replacing a bad food choice with a good one, doing crunches on the floor during your favorite show instead of just sitting down and watching it, making that extra effort to get outside and walk, because you know you feel good when you do it. It's so easy to give advice that is good, if someone takes it. The difficulty is acting on it.

I am going to chose a path. Let me try Body-for-Life for one month, this month, March 2006. I should read the book every chance I get, to reinforce the things in it. I need to make my meals here and bypass the cookie aisle altogether. I need to get out of the house, as hard as that sometimes feels to do, because being out and about makes me feel like taking action, and sitting at home doesn't, obviously. I am going to buy quality St. John's Wort, and take it at night. I am going to take my prenatal vitamin in the morning. I am going to focus on following the plan, and getting in my workouts, and not worry about the scale or how much I am losing.

Wish me luck!