I said before that I was going to try birth control to get my PCOS and hormones under control. I started the Nuva Ring during the last cycle, and hated it. I felt it for the entire time. I took it out after four days, and immediately had another bout with the Red River. Yippee. Then I asked the doctor's office for another form, and they prescribed a birth control pill. Three days after starting that, I was throwing up and nauseous in between throwing up. I stopped taking them after five days when I realized it wasn't the flu, and again, the LavaLocker let loose.

Mower looked at me the other night, and said, "Honey, I understand that we don't want to get pregnant. But you're taking it a little far that you scheduled this for 40 days and 40 nights of being On The Rag during Lent. I didn't know you were that dedicated."

Trust me, honey, if I could get away with not having to wear flimsy pieces of cotton with a sticky undercoating that somehow always gets turned around so it is a mini-Brazilian bikini wax with every step, I would. It's not my goal of 2006 to keep Kotex in business. I am not in control of my Lady Lava, my Scarlet Secretions, my Noonie Nectar. Sorry.