Mower and I would love to move back up North, since we were both born north of the Mason-Dixon and want our kids to know more than two seasons. Here in the South, more specifically the tropical sub-climate we live in, there's two seasons: 1) Mild without too much humidity, windows down in the car in January and flipflops in February, and 2) Buy deodorant in bulk because two seconds after you get out of the shower, you'll wanna jump right back in, it's so hot and humid.

We like Chicago and the proximity to his family's farmhouse. We don't have much family up North anymore, and the ones down here think we are nuts for wanting to move back up there and deal with snow. But we were raised with and enjoyed the cold, and our kids are happy in our house with the air conditioning at 68.

My wish list for our house there:

1) A master bedroom big enough for two king sized beds pushed up against each other, so Mower can be on one end and I can be on the other, and even with a handful of kids sleeping between us, I may not hear him snore, but do get credit for not making him sleep on the couch.

2) A bathroom big enough to handle a changing table. Currently, our changing table downstairs is a foam padding on the counter next to the sink. I would love to have the changing table right there next to the sink in a bathroom, where the smell doesn't filter as much into my Chicken Kiev.

3) Small sinks in each bathroom that the smaller kids can use. Handsome wants to wash his hands, but the stool is too short, and I don't want to get one with more than one step. He's as accident prone as me, and I see that ending badly.

4) A laundry room on each floor, preferrably with two washers and dryers on the upstairs level. I hate hauling laundry, and it would speed up the whole porcess to have more than one set.

5) Hardwood floors throughout, except in the showers. Then it can be marble. No more tile floors or grout (hiss!).

6) A porch outside the master bedroom, where we can watch the sunset and storms coming on the horizon.

7) A Texas basement--an extra attic space on the second floor. Instead of hauling things up a rickity wood ladder attached to a small opening, I would love to have storage on the same floor as the bedrooms.

8) This is weird, but I want it. A huge enclosure for red-tailed boas built into the wall on the stairs, so we can see them but not worry so much about them getting out, as opposed to a regular enclosure in a room.

Oh, and lakefront property, a maid, a massage room with daily massages, and a wine celler for Mower, and a huge playroom with a slide for the kids, and an indoor putt-putt course. That can happen, right?