Kids do not realize the many ways they can break your heart. I picked up Bubba from my sister-in-law's house, where Bubba stayed the night, at about 1:30. I stopped at Wendy's to get Bubba a soda, and off we go again. I asked her if she wanted me to take the soda, and she scowled and said, "Don't talk to me." I snorted, because it was kinda funny that unexpected stuff like that comes out at strange moments--she and I weren't upset with each other over anything. Then I got sad, really sad. I saw a glimpse of what it will be like when she is pre-teen, and there is no greater thing I dread than the moments where she says rude things because she is in a bad mood, without regard to how it comes across, and the correction I give verbally does nothing, and I am left in tatters. I told Bubba she could say, "I don't feel like talking right now," which she then repeated and handed me the drink, then fell asleep. I hate the feeling that this ride we are on won't stop, and I worry that somewhere along the way, I will stop seeing the humor in things and take them so personally that it puts a distance between her and I. I love being her mommy, and my heart was so filled with love when minutes earlier she had said, "You're the best mommy ever." I want those moments to be the things I remember, not the occassional, "Don't talk to me right now." The cool thing is, Mower and I are pretty aware that our kids reflect us in many ways, and we can direct them to happy things if we are directed to happy things. I guess that's why it was so surprising that she said what she did in such a resentful way. But writing it here helps a lot, because I know I am not the only mom who feels like that, and I am going to use it to strengthen our relationship, not let it chip away at my self-esteem. At least that's the plan;)