Our Halloween was really fun this year, and yes, I am going to thoroughly describe the event in pictures. You weren't really going to get back to work or write that midterm paper, anyway, so keep reading. We decorated with handmade artwork from the artists formerly known as Handsome and Bubba:

Bubba and I both did one of these, and I have to say that I am very impressed with her artistry. She has a good eye for composition and she can draw well. Me, I can write and I can sometimes make people laugh, but I am dumber than a box of hair when it comes to artwork. I'll leave that to the pros like Bubba.

We decorated with the usual stuff too:

Bubba and Handsome decided the pumpkins were not only for sitting there collecting bugs, they are great for climbing adventures and rolling for bowling practice:

God I hope he doesn't have this fascination with blow up animals after puberty:

Bubba wanted me to dress up like a mummy. Since this mummy is on a budget, sews like a one-handed chicken plucker, and was in short supply of dirty, discolored rags in which to surround my body, I used quilted double roll:

Bubba decided last year she wanted to be a ghost. She remembered for this year, and I got her a glow-in-the-dark tarp, which I did not want covering her face, so we cut a hole in it. By we, I mean me, as my husband sat on the toilet for an extraordinarily long time. You'd think he would be able to solve the Pathagorium Theorum in that amount of time, but no, he's just reading up on K-Fed and Britney. Bubba did not want her face to be painted, so we tried a white pillowcase. That was chunked when it was obvious some of our neighbors would think she was there to burn crosses on their lawn, so we, and again, I just mean ME, used some thin muslin, which made her happy.

Bubba said in the truck on the way home tonight that next year, her second Halloween, she wants to be a ballerina. In her third year, she wants to be a bunny. In her fourth year, she wants to be a mummy, then in her fifth year, a flower. How she comes up with this math, I do not know. Maybe it is the solution to the Pathagorium Theorum and we have a future Nobel Peace Prize winnner on our hands. I don't want to forget her list of choices though, and I have to write them since I have the memory of a blade of grass.

Handsome was Pablo from the Backyardigans. Backyardigans to parents today is like Thorzine in a mental hospital, only it does not need to be injected into your ass. Backyardigans is "The Matrix" to toddlers--endlessly fascinating, yet has a deeper meaning than just being a hit. There is a message of The One, but I hope it's not Tasha. That bitch is too bossy. I think it's Austin--he's The One. But Pablo is pretty cool--VOTE FOR PABLO.

My children came home sooner than I expected, since they were being carried by a colony of these:

Fucking mosquitoes. The damn things dot my ceiling and the top of my walls, scraped on by a paper towel roll as a message to other mosquitoes--turn back or there is no escape, you bastards.

I'm almost done with the pictures. You can wait a minute to go pee and get that Snickers bar you stole from your kid's candy bag.

My nephew had a great time with his teddy bear costume, and loved the headpiece so much, he walked around in it after his Mommy removed the body of the costume. This is just a darn cute picture:

How cheap do you need to be to give these out to kids?

Oh, and my sister-in-law brought her new baby to the house. They say there's no ugly babies, but I'm gonna have to go with the pessimists on this one: