We went over the weekend to the Texas Renaissance Festival, which is huge and fun and crazy and a great place to people watch. I deliberately only took cash, so that we would not be tempted to overspend, and toward the end of the day and after only one wine cooler, I couldn't believe that I was out of money and had a buzz. People passing by got a good laugh as I told Mower that news, sitting my fat ass on a bench and taking a breather from the endless walking and sweating. I went in jeans and a t-shirt that read, Make Me Happy...Buy Me Something. It got some attention, which for one moment as a girl looked at my chest and laughed, I forgot about what the t-shirt said and wondered what in the hell was so funny about my chest in comparison to some of them sticking out there that day, then realized she was just reading it. I am not the brightest light on the Christmas tree sometimes.

I enjoyed the picture-taking, but had a definite about-to-pass-out-because-I-freaked-out-so-bad moment when I reached for the camera to take a pic of girls with their asses hanging out in thongs, one of which was covered in chain mail and the other that didn't bother with such niceties, when the camera wasn't there. We looked all over the stroller, the wagon, in the bags, and with Mower asking me directly and with fury, "Where is the camera?" I snapped in panic, "I don't KNOW!" I turned and saw it finally in Handsome's hands. The adrenaline rushed out of me so fast I could have blacked out if I allowed myself to. We retrieved it from his grip, thankful he had it, but upset that he was able to get it because it was too close to him, and missed the shot of the girl's asses. It propelled me through the rest of the day, seeking out the butt shot that would be the crowning glory of the pictures for the day. Alas, it was not to be, but I will try again in November when we go again. I am sure they will be hanging out then, no matter the weather. The Fair brings out all kinds.

Bubba was all decked out in her Fair costume:

Bubba wanted to go into the haunted house, and while she and Mower went, Handsome and I recieved a show:

The haunted house is next to the pirate hangout....It's just not the same without Backyardigans singing, AAAARRRRRRR!

Ye Ole Bartering Material Mechanism:

Handsome was endlessly fascinated by the camel Bubba rode with her cousin KK:

I was more fascinated by staying away from the camel's urine:

The girls rode an elephant also:

Hey, I remember you from last year! Do you have any more of those Goldfish you gave me, little guy, huh, huh, huh?

The Buy Me Something shirt gave this guy a chuckle as he fulfilled my wish for a pretzel, and then delighted me and the girls by entertaining us:

This guy makes money off of stupid people who want their picture taken with or on him. After watching the tail and determining the authenticity of it and it's movements, the girls allowed us to be the next stupid people to contribute to his income and we had the girls take pictures on him. Mower complained that the guy was a real horses' ass, though:

Sorry, the previous bad pun was caused by my husband and not me, half-man, half-horse guy, if you read this.

You have an awesome array of items to buy there. One of my favorites is a place that sells these:

Even the bathroom is full of character:

Tomorrow, I will show you boobs, of all kinds. I promise.