A typical night at the Peej household:

I was sitting here, at this very computer, when I smelled something very, very wrong.

"Mower! Good God! Did you fart?"

"Nope."

"Mower!"

"Nope," he restated, slightly irritated.

"Mower! I know you farted! It smells like Pumpkin shit!" I exclaimed, referring to the dog we had previous to Fuzzy, who left disgustingly nasty piles for me in the kitchen when she was a puppy and had worms.

Mower turned around. "It wafed over there, huh?" he asked, finally dropping the act.

I got up to go get an OoohLaLaSpa candle to light (blatant product plug, but they have replaced Glade air freshener around here--we needed something stronger and more efficient than traditional fart removal methods).

"Stand on my back?" Mower asked, when I got back.

"HELL NO! God only knows what'll shoot out of there when I put pressure on you!"

Ah, the joys of marriage.