I know I am hugely immature and going to hell for giggling like a schoolgirl over this, but I was going to hell anyway for laughing at the joke in the extended entry anyway:

Who in their right mind named this neighborhood? Were they really out of good names like Elm Briar and Spring Glen? Gaywood is not the first choice of neighborhood for pre-teens. "Wanna come over to my house after school? Get on the bus that goes to Gaywood!" I just have to wonder, and again, I already know I am immature and going to hell, is there a dyke behind Gaywood? Or a brown canal? Or is it just a brown forest with a wood in the middle? Do they require hardwood floors? How do you know when you have a crack in the rear and when it's a problem and not an invite? Are you allowed to have bunnies or dogs that eat carpeting, that are rugmuchers? Does your cat have to stay inside or can you have your pussy outside and begging at the neighbor's door to be filled? When you trim the grass, can you do it in a heart or a triangle pattern? If you pay to be in Gaywood, are you guilty of prostitution? Or just a cover charge for the clubhouse? When they say neighborhood protection, do they mean there's condoms available to the residents? And lastly, when you have an open house in Gaywood, do you need to be tested first to enter?