I'm really trying to see how many times I need to say Teeth to get the ads on the sides of the page to have teeth and teeth-related products come up.

Do I have something in my teeth?

This is what she has between her teeth:

I am not going to tell you what is on her fingers and between her teeth, but suffice to say, it is an item which will rot her teeth, and cause her teeth to fall out prematurely if ingested in large quantities and allowed to coat her teeth. Does the Tooth Fairy leave a dentist coupon if their parents are the ones responsible for ruining their teeth by giving them items which bind and eat away at their teeth enamel? Is the proper way to say that tooth enamel or teeth enamel? I guess it depends on if you are speaking of one child's teeth or many children's teeth.

Yes, I know I am wrong for writing the following in the same entry as a picture of my sweet daughter's teeth, but I am wrong on many levels and I am just a crazy mommy with a blog who happened to be given cute kids for the sole purpose of making sure they do not turn out like me during junior high and high schoool. And college. And after they go to sleep and I tie up Mower and force feed him brussel sprouts and asparagus. We'd do other forms of domination, but I really like making his pee smell. Anyway... One of the things I like to do when the ice needs to be broken or you want to make someone snort Starbucks through their nose is to go up to them, smile real wide, and ask them, "Do I have anything in my teeth other than pubic hair?"

Watch--the ads will read about pubic hair products now. Get rid of crabs--free trial! Want your short and curlies to be straight and down to your knees? Try Ms. Va-na-na's Pubes Serum. Bothersome leftovers from sex tangling your lip ticklers? Just apply Come Out and watch it clump and dissolve!

Bubba, Handsome, Mommy apologizes for being a nut. It's better to come out here than in your parent-teacher conferences, though.