I play a bowling game on my cell phone when I feel like ignoring the kids or while I'm driving. I find it helps pass the time. Every time I finish the set, it gives me a little ego boost to encourage me to play more and get more compliments. I am a master at reading into things, though, and know exactly what the programmer was thinking when his boss told him to add these cute little pats on the back:

"This job gives me a hard-on Ron Jeremy would quiver and cower in front of!"

"If that one chick at the club last weekend would have given me her real phone number, that's what she'd be saying right now!"

"That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh huh, uh huh...that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it, uh huh, uh huh..."

"Stupid Patty telling me that when we got naked in the car. It was a cold night!"

"Yeah, beat that Michael Jordan! No trash can rim! Fifth time today!"

"I wonder if I can get away with saying 'Bizach' at Christmas dinner. Nah, Grandma would whip my ass!"

"Nice try to you, you stuck-up little college prick tease. See if I try to buy you a drink next time. Probably a lesbo. No one can resist the Chadster!"

"I wonder if I would get more girls with a British accent. 'Ello, gov'ner!"

"Fuck, I'm out of ideas. This was stupid anyway."

"Yeah, a turkey sub sounds good. Where'd I put my keys to my Miata?"