I know I had put one picture of my lovely bruise from falling while carrying Handsome, but I never put more up here. That's a shame, because bruises are really cool. I don't think the getting them part is cool at all, but I am accident-prone and it's a way of life. Here's the original picture:

A few days later:

A couple days after that:

I don't go out of my way to get hurt. My first scratch happened before I was even born. They put an internal monitor in while my mom was in labor and scratched the top of my head.

Other injuries over the past thirty years:

Fell down the stairs after tripping on my blanket, 3 years old

Stitches next to my right eye from falling off the center bar between see-saws and a wood chip pierced half an inch from my eyeball, 5 years old.

Broke my pinkie toe while doing a cartwheel in my bedroom and hit the dresser instead of the floor, 7 years old.

Broke my lefthand pinkie when a basketball smashed it in gym, 8 years old.

Broke my left shoulder, elbow and wrist when I fell off my bike riding no-handed, 9 years old.

Sprained my right wrist after falling on my driveway, 10 years old.

Sprained my ankle on a trampoline, 11 years old.

Sprained my ankle again falling down the stairs, 13 years old.

Broke my tailbone falling down in my bedroom before hitting the wall in a dazed, just-woke-up stupor, 16 years old.

Scar on chest from getting a cyst removed the day I ran the car into a hospital helipad surrounded by chain link fence and steel poles that went underneath and above the car as I drove through it, looking for a dropped French fry I did not want to leave in the seat, 18 years old.

Had jaw surgery to correct a future TMJ problem, had the jaw bolted shut for four months, have a bunch of plates and screws holding the bones together, 18 years old.

Scraped up my shoulder, arm, wrist, hands, knees, hips, and face while Rollerblading in semi-darkness, 19 years old.

Tripped over air and fell into concrete, breaking my big toe on my right foot, 21 years old.

Sprained ankle in college. I have no details in my memory of that injury happening, but I don't think I was drunk at that time, but the alcohol had already killed the brain cells designed to hold that memory of what happened, 21 years old.

Scar on hand from being bit by a brown recluse spider, 22 years old.

C-section scars from spawning, I mean having my kids, 24 and 28 years old.

Sliced open my hand on a beer can buried in the yard by one of the workers when the house was being built, had to get a tetanus shot, 27 years old.

Broke my pinkie toe on a couch in my kitchen, 27 years old.

Rebroke the toe five weeks after first breaking it, by smashing it into the bricks lining our driveway, 27 years old.

Car accident soreness, 30 years old.

Falling onto the wheel of a wagon while holding Handsome, 30 years old.

I know I'm due for something bloody that requires shots and x-rays soon. I'm assuming it will be a broken appendage, but I'll take just a cut or a huge bruise again. OOOOH! Please, God, can it be my nose? I have been wanting a nose job for soooooo long. It'd be great if it were covered by insurance! Crossing my fingers my nose will get broken and not just a freaking toe again. Wish me luck!

Oh, and yes, my parents were concerned someone would think they beat me because of all the injuries I had, so they just took me to different doctors in other towns and told the investigators I was that robot Vickie on the show "Small Wonder." I got to sign my autograph as Vickie and the CPS people closed the case.