It is so tempting to open these spam emails and see what other gems are included in the body, but in less than two weeks I have gotten over 769 spam emails and don't wanna sift through more by verifying my address. These stood out as being either the most creative or the stupidest:

Socorro Day Not buffoon in calamitous

Makes me think of Scooby Doo and baboons fucking in calamari.

Vernon Stroud A be barbaric

I get the image of the Shroud of Turin surrounded by mean bees with a chip on their shoulder.

Angel Goldberg susefulness

Susefulness? As in Dr. Suess? Am I supposed to rhyme all my words and be fuzzy and multicolored while reading it?

Hillary Askew kelderly

Keverything khere kis kwonderful, khow's, keverything kwith kyour kelderly kfolks?

Enid Dyer gliberty

I'm thinking Tom Cruise might have helped pen this.

Virgie Short Which when my twiddle

Maybe this has to do with the Dr. Suess one....Which when my twiddle, then began to fiddle, and it went tinkle, without leaving a sprinkle, perfectly in the middle, from it's cute diddle, nicknamed Finkle, real name Hinkle.

Liza Cole you uniaxial no vapid

She must have been spying on me, because I thought I covered up my vapidless uniaxial.

Esther Baird Find a fuck-buddy tonight adbm

I can just reach in a drawer for one, thanks.

Doug Soto Increase your Penis Size 8

Is that like ring sizes? I'm so confused as to whom to believe here--Doug Soto or these folks:

Jane Blair Gain Up To 3+ Full Inches In Length 9
Bryant Wood Avoid enhancement pills
Tate Rodriguez Why be an average guy any longer
Seth Patton Gain Up To 3+ Full Inches In Length 8
Matthew Evans Beware of fake pills
Andrea Morris Penis enlargement breakthrough! 8

Connie Franks hi_ ldgtdgqavxqrokciyqdt

Finally, someone spelled my name right!

Vincent Kramer He comes to thesurface.

Yea for him!

Bennett Lehman Reproduction problems

Oops, spoke too soon. Sorry dude.

ntick pathetic ruffian

No, I'm not! I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you!

Pansy Hurd edrama

You deliberately chose the name Pansy to spam me with? You got more issues than a crappy job, huh?

Roddy Now, there's nothing wrong girls in revealing thongs.

He apparently hasn't seen me in my semi-granny panties with a wedgie, but this guy has:

Houston Villarreal in it wedge

These I don't even have a comment on other than what the fuck?

Maryanne Tracy Or replete he exogamy
Russel Tanner An sulfanilamide go require
enroll nail file sorrow
milk shake Then cover the lawn a second time but in the perpendicular direction, using the ...
Javed Dunkle Re: my philateli
Tina L. Wheeler smart aleck biplane
Hudson sardonic leech
audience at Be no yeah

Good to know I have a future in spam emails if this blog thing doesn't work out.