"I can do it without help. I just don't need to follow the erections."

"The what, Bubba?"

"The erections. I can tie my shoes without following the erections in the book."

"Oh, sweetie, you mean DIRECTIONS."

I wisely kept my mouth shut as a mom, while the sarcastic smartass in me wanted to say, "It won't do you any good to follow erections, either. There'll be more than enough chasing you in high school and college. You won't have to work for it."

That sound you just heard is Mower's head exploding as he thinks about his little Bubba and boys having wood around her.