I have not forgotten about the blog or helping readers waste time at work. I have been busy. Very busy. Extremely busy sitting on the toilet. I am the lucky winner of food poisoning/ Irritable Bowel Syndrome/ stomach flu /karma in the form of several days of feeling as if all the liquid in my body just has to see how the plumbing works, in whatever form it can most quickly escape and cause discomfort. Pleasant, I know. If I knew I'd be this sick, I would have bought stock in toilet paper.

The kids are also sick, which means that Mommy gets to snuggle with crying children as I sit on my throne, moving their sweet, hot little heads away as I fill the trashcan simultaneously. The joys of motherhood.

In the midst of this, we are trying to purchase a new home and sell two rental houses and our own house. Because it's not all stressful enough without adding 1500 calls from Realtors every day. Fun stuff.

I shall be back, if I haven't expelled my wit and sarcasm into the heavily taxed Municipal Water District we live in. The best part of this whole week? Mower shaved his head bald and left the pile of hair in the shower. Because this blog entry was not gross enough without it.