When in doubt of how to clean them, put them in a crepe myrtle bucket and hose the hell out of them--it's like meat tenderizer:

When they got out of line and act as if they are going to escape the confines of the kiddie pool, sic China on them. She got them so riled up they were raising their claws and standing up to challenge her, which only made her more aggressive:

Once clean and demoralized by the dog, pick up and get ready to drop into the boiler:

Once boiled into a juicy, spicy hunk of shell with which to slice your thumb open on as you tear the shells off, pour onto table for easy access:

Don't leave your cell phone unattended. This one called Louisiana, begging to come home, saying he'd never again run away and he'd clean his room this time, he promises:

Forgot to accessorize? Never fear with crawfish near.

Yeah, I know. I made you dumber for having read that. But I bet someone will attach a crawfish claw to their ear, their nose or their nutsack within 48 hours of reading this, and that means my work is done.