Handsome is still in diapers (short story is that he is incredibly controlling and the very last thing of babyhood he will release is his hold over his diapers and going stinky-poopoo in them) and Mower "helped" him put on his diaper, which meant that half of Handsome's cute little tush was hanging out. I told him he needed to correct that, and Mower goes, "My boy walking around half assed?" Yes, hardy-har-har. So Mower fixes it, which makes it look worse. I tell him our son looks like he has a vagina. Mower then goes, "He's got camel toe?" to which I hear repeated from my sweet seven-year-old's mouth, "Camel toe!" like she's just discovered the two words that can bring her chocolate ice cream for all eternity, like please for the 21st century. Mower seems at least ashamed on the surface and exclaims, "Oh, crap!" to which I hear my sweet three-year-old repeat, "Oh, crap!"

Thanks Mower. Anything you'd like to teach Honey at this point? Do you want her first word to be "Nutsack?" Or perhaps "Carpet muncher?" Or maybe "Pillow biter?" How about "Crotch rot?" I'm not impressed. I am still laughing because it's funny, but because I at least try to have the slightest bit of maternal indignation towards profane or inappropriate language in front of the neighbors who are probably writing down everything they hear on my monitor for the deposition before CPS, I have to fake some annoyance by saying I am not impressed.