My youngest just let loose the poop of the week. Outfit #1 of the week ruined by a mixture of cereal, prunes and ham making it's grand reentry into the light. I was about to take a picture of it to show Mower when he got home, but decided against it. That crosses a line, even for me. Suffice to say, it's up there on my list of poops to remember, like the one where Bubba pooped on the way to Wal-Mart. She normally pooped in three separate episodes, which cost us a lot in diapers for the first few weeks until we caught on that she would be done in ten minutes and there was no need to change her right away. So she only let loose once, and I thought it was just a long, happy tooting session. Nope. There I am in the parking lot of Wal-Mart in winter, cutting the onsie off her in order to avoid pulling it over her head. I admit, I was, just that once, the lady that left a nasty diaper in the parking lot instead of walking to the front for a trash can. I would not have been able to get the carrier and the diaper bag into the store while carrying the nastiest poopy diaper known to Southeast Texas in 2000, so I allowed myself to be white trash for a few moments and left it steaming on the pavement.

Handsome seemed to only poop in a clean diaper. He still isn't potty-trained, and he is now four. The kid wanted/wants a clean diaper before he soils it, but then he could stew in it all day long singing Kumbayah and lighting incense to cover the smell. Ask him if he went stinky poo-poo, and he'll respond with a high-pitched scream of fury, and may even try to hit you. We have a Wall E toy perched on a shelf to encourage him to stinky poo-poo in the potty, and all we get is a little boy who tries to manipulate us into giving it to him by accident. Mower was enticed to come and "Help me!" and Handsome stood there and casually asked for Mower to get Wall E like he has mistakenly placed him out of his own reach. Nope, sorry dude. Gotta drop the kids off at the pool before you get that $25 bribe.

Luckily, Honey wants a clean diaper often, and not just to poop in. She despises the feel of poop. I am thinking at this point that she will be trained before Handsome. We may even need to send Handsome to his prom with a diaper. "Here you go, son, your date's corsage and your XXL Training Pants. With Lightning McQueen on them, your favorite. Have fun!" I would even switch him to pink Pull-Ups, but the boy would just proudly show off the Disney princesses he was wearing as if it's Fashion Week in NYC.

So I am debating whether or not to pour some gasoline in the washer to clean the poop that was saturating Honey's outfit, but it's still too expensive to use gas to do that. I'll just throw some of Mower's clothes in there and let them be the test subject to whether or not the poop is mutant or if it did wash out of her outfit and enter the water system to be cleaned at a plant. Sorry about that guys. I know the wastewater management guys deal with a lot of smell and mess, but Honey's leakage onto her outfit probably doubled their normal annual allotment of disgusting water. But my kids and their massive poops will keep that particular facet of the economy going, so yes, you're welcome.